Art's Postmortem

OK... I may have set Art's up for failure. "The Howie" might be a little out of their wheelhouse.

Art's is a great deli, but as far as caramelized onions go, they leave something to be desired. The woman taking my order told me that she'd never even heard of a caramelized onion. And they didn't have gorgonzola on hand, so we made do with blue cheese. And even though I asked them to grill it, like they do the Patty Melts and Reubens, they didn't.

(Reuben, by the way, is my model in this sandwich endeavor. I want you to be able to walk into any restaurant in the world and order "A Howie" and have the waitress know exactly what you want.)

So with all that said... The Howie's first outing was a ROARING SUCCESS. Even in the face of careless To Go orders, it was delicious. Though with the uproar in the kitchen it caused over whether a grilled onion was the same as a caramelized, and the argument between line cooks as to bleu cheese dressing versus bleu cheese crumbles, the waitress was too annoyed to consider putting The Howie on the menu full time.

Next time, I might ask for the manager.

The Story So Far: "Attention all Restaurateurs"

My name is Howie Kaplan, and I'm a passionate man. But my passion isn't romantic, or political, or even for a sports team. My passion has always been for sandwiches.

Perhaps it's a symptom of growing up Jewish. Not synagogue Jewish, mind you... that is, we eat our milk and meat on the same plate and even on the same delicious, artery clogging meal. My people were Deli Jews. I still remember being no taller than the door latch on my Grandmother's Lincoln and hoisting myself onto the booth at delis with names like "Pumpernickels,""Bagelmania," and "Matza Hut." I'd pour over the menu, studying sandwiches with names like The Woody Allen ("lotsa corned beef plus lotsa pastrami,") The Ted Knight (patty melt with russian dressing,) and The Neil Diamond (Lots of ham and cheese)

My lifelong dream had always been to be like my heroes. To have my name on a sandwich. And just yesterday, it came to me, as if in a dream. What my sandwich would be.

Thus, I am looking for an enterprising restaurant owner who wants to make a name for himself with what may be the greatest sandwich idea of all time.

There's just one catch. I don't want a cut of the enormous profits I'm sure you'll make off this idea. I just want to fulfill my destiny.

Yes. The Howie Special is ready for testing. Will you be the daring young risktaker to bring it to the world?

INTERESTED PARTIES ONLY NEED APPLY.














*** UPDATE! 8:38 PM***
I've just ordered The Howie from Art's Deli! The woman taking my order wasn't clear on the difference between caramelized and grilled onions, but I'm optimistic! Will let you know how it turns out.